things not to make as New Year's resolutions
- become illiterate
- fall into a puddle and turn into a turtle with a hot pink shell
- punch a kitten in the face
- paper mache airplane
things one should not be arrested for
- falling into a puddle and turning into a turtle with a hot pink shell
- volunteering at a geriatric home
- jay walking
- getting a paper cut
things tooth brushes don't do
- get cancer
- play the violin
- enjoy mylifeisaverage.com
- submit comic captions to the newyorker
things not to wear to the bank
- a ski mask
- a ferocious bear
- only socks
- clothes spattered with blood
- jean skirt and uggs
things that are not t-rexes
- a canary
- a glass stein
- the golden gate bridge
- president's circle member at Met
- coco the gorilla
things that are not green
- the color purple
- some post-its
- my bookshelf
- the sound a rhino makes
- Tuesday
recommendations for other topics not to have:
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